When I first got here, i felt like the world was coming to an end... what the hell am i supposed to do with my life? how do i make friends? how can i not be awkward? those first few weeks were depressing (except the first weekend when i was going to party with lily but she was too drunk to answer the phone so i hung out with 2 random girls because i was afraid of walking by myself)
thomson hall=dingey 70's motel, big rooms but it always smells weird one way or another. living on western is like a whole other place; international students, isolation, incentive to stay in on the weekends, anddd adds at least five minutes walk to get anywhere. but, most of my friends are easily accessible.
then i joined the swim team- even though i havent been going recently, it was great for me... I met greg at the first swim party (i started talking to him because he was gay (familiar/robert(even though hes an asshole)), then we realized we both lived in thomson, and had an adventure of walking back, and became friends
michelle is a great roommate, and we spent the first 2 weeks figuring out everything about college together, "other half"- thats when we realized we should probably make some more friends
a few weeks in, sam adams (who sucks by the way) had a concert at brick street, and i went with lily and smoked for the first time (but definitely not the last time)
I went to a lot of swim team parties and meets, but still really was pretty much good friends with greg and michelle- and then hilary through both of them. We all went to KASA (korean american student association) club night in september, and had sooo much fun. danced a bit, and then met ray for the first time, who bought tons of shots and got us drunk, and then hilary, ray and i walked back to thomson together, giggling, saw a skunk, stopped in shriver to pee. the next day greg and hilary and i went to wendys, hilary was texting ray, and told her he liked me... i was weirded out since i had just met him, but he didnt know i had known he'd liked me since the beginning until we had been dating for a little while lol.
a month into school, i had to write a 25 page paper on dominant privilege; most stressful experience ever.
thursday before halloween i went clubbing in columbus with katie and we got kicked out right after we got in because katie was too drunk.
okay, back to ray. i was reluctant to hang out with him at first, seeing as i was like who the fuck is this crazy asian boy who likes me whattheheck... but, after a week of making excuses, i couldnt think of any more, and we started hanging out every day because of his incessant texting. I had decided i wasn't really into asian guys, and so we hung out for the first month or so without much going on (during this time i sorta liked pat, but he turned out to be an ass and randomly stop talking to me).. but then, i finally started liking him, he told me he liked me and later asked me to be his girlfriend, and i decided to go with it. i actually lost my virginity to him a few days before we started dating.. with his roommate in the room.. and then i freaked out the next day and took plan b, and during the next couple days i told him i was on my period because i was sore haha..
so, i can't remember anything else specific about first semester, but during it i went to tennessee and rutgers for swim meets, visited katie, visited home, and visited robert.
ray was at my house half the time, the rest of the time i hung out with katie and a little bit with robert. I had a little get-together at a certain dog's house and got drunk and passed out on the couch, and ray covered me up with his sweatshirt and stuff, so sweet. had a lame new years at greg's friends apartment with katie, but still got a little drunk and then went home. howard followed ray during break, pretty awkward haha.
I was actually excited to go back, and pretty much stayed in with ray, hilary, and variable other people every weekend. hilary and eric and me and ray hung out a lot, and it worked pretty well until they broke up (quite the hubbub). ray and i started arguing a little bit, often relating to them (or ray not speaking english to me when we hung out with his chinese friends)'
i helped ray get his drivers license and a car (volvo s40), and it was prettyyy scary at first and he failed twice, but hes a good driver now.
we went to chicago and home for spring break, with me, ray, hilary, hermione, and dolores (wow bao). it was fun but a little tense. ray was mad because hilary wasnt contributing much money to the trip, and we fought because he didnt want me to walk the three blocks to walgreens by myself, and i thought it was stupid to get the car from valet to go such a short distance. buttt whatever. I had to drive the whole way from chicago to columbus in the pouring rain, but i was pretty proud that i could do that with no problem.
I dropped out of the honors program, but not before being able to schedule early of course. it was pointless and bs, i didnt want to write 5 extra papers each semester convincing them i learned in class just so i could write honors on my diploma (if i even managed to graduate with a 3.5).
i visited robert at ou again, and he blacked out before we left his dorm, and we went to a club and same thing as happened with katie happened again, we got kicked out because he was too drunk. i had to navigate back to his dorm, and then he passed out and threw up all over his room including off his roommates loft bed onto his roommate's desk. then i spent all morning in the bathroom puking before i drove back to oxford.
next year i'm living in swing, and i'm thinking about majoring in environmental earth science.
but this semester wasnt all bad even if ray and i are kinda fighting frequently, i had a lot of fun, i swear! (blue pantsss, brown shirtt.../we're almost back! we could still die!!!)
well, i can't really think of much else to write, so i guess i just summed up my freshman year in about a page~ (ps, i'm practically asian now, and i can't speak english half the time)
oh yeah, and sometime in there we decided i'm going to china for 25 days at the beginning of summer with ray... and i'm leaving on monday.. OMG. i dont know chinese, but i've been trying to learn a little bit online (rays not much help).
oh, and one last thing, they found osama bin laden earlier this week... yay! but they killed him, and the terrorists are mad, and im flying on monday.. ahh!
First year of college: nearly complete. update to follow for nostalgic purposes.
for now, i'm going to complain about how stupid i am- of course, i know. everything is clearer in hindsight. I just can't believe i was stupid enough to accept being treated like shit. high school may have been a bitch, but so was robert, so was andrea, and so was abby (and the rest of my small bubble school, but eh, home is home). I wish i would have gained confidence earlier, and not have been so nervous and ashamed all the time. i thought everything that was going on was my fault; maybe it was, but being outgoing and proactive is better than being quiet and reclusive.
As for now, I try to catch myself as i go. try not to make mistakes, except for the fun kinds. I'm going to limit my eating. Surrounding myself with asians may add pressure, but I really am getting chubby. I'm not letting that happen now. I'm not sure if i'm going to like my long hair again, but that's still in the process, so we'll see how that goes.
Il a mis le cafe Dans la tasse Il a mis le lait Dans la tasse de cafe Il a mis le sucre Dans le cafe au lait Avec la petite cuiller Il a tourne Il a bu le cafe au lait Et il a repose la tasse Sans me parler Il a allume Une cigarette Il a fait des ronds Avec la fumee Il a mis les cendres Dans le cendrier Sans me parler Sans me regarder Il s'est leve Il a mis Son chapeau sur sa tete Il a mis Son manteau de pluie Parce qu'il pleuvait Et il est parti Sous la pluie Sans une parole Et moi j'ai pris Ma tete dans ma main Et j'ai pleure.